Reasons I'm Glad I'm Not Female
It's the little things that make it great to be a man.

*DISCLAIMER: I KNOW that you and your friends are exceptions to these statements. I know. Please stop telling me.

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

(Source: dontgetcomfortable, via yzqwert)

*I KNOW that you and your friends/sister/mother/girlfriend/etc. are exceptions to these statements. I know. Please stop telling me.

Do you think you could uncross your arms long enough to send me a Reason? http://imgladimnotfemaletumblr.com/ask

aeoinamvk’ldfsrsjaewunzkdsfjbvh’zldjbn!

That’s Finnish for “Please submit to Reasons I’m Glad I’m Not Female so I can keep the wittiness coming and not have to go back to my master empty handed and make him beat me with string cheese while I sing funeral dirges to his Power Puff Girls figurines while wearing a fez and jumping on my left foot on a bed of cauliflower on the edge of a cliff over the Amazon!”

Wait, that’s not right. That should be “celtic ballads,” not “funeral dirges.” Stupid Google translate…

http://imgladimnotfemale.tumblr.com/ask

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Appreciated.

*sniff* I guess this could be the end of the line…

If I don’t get any submissions, I may as well give up and turn into one more person who does nothing but reblog. And I’ll make sure it’s really terrible stuff, so I’ll lose all my followers, and then I’ll finally have the excuse to give up entirely. *sigh*

Ok, so I’m being a little dramatic, but I seriously am out of ideas. Please go submit! http://imgladimnotfemale.tumblr.com/ask

I’m all out.

I’m sorry for kinda spamming your dash, but I really need submissions. Really badly. There are only 3 more left after the one scheduled for tonight. Pretty please go to http://imgladimnotfemale.tumblr.com and submit? Like, right now? Peas and tank you.

It’s down to the wire

I’m sorry for kinda spamming your dash, but I really need submissions. Really badly. There are only 3 more left after the one scheduled for tonight. Pretty please go to http://imgladimnotfemale.tumblr.com and submit? Like, right now? Peas and tank you.

I need your help.

After Monday, I only have three more reasons. I’m totally serious. I really, really, REALLY need submissions. http://imgladimnotfemale.tumblr.com/ask please?

Well, poo.

After Monday, I only have three more reasons. I’m totally serious. I really, really, REALLY need submissions. http://imgladimnotfemale.tumblr.com/ask please?

*I KNOW that you and your friends/sister/mother/girlfriend/etc. are exceptions to these statements. I know. Please stop telling me.

Take a break from making your skin luxurious and please submit! http://imgladimnotfemaletumblr.com/ask

*I KNOW that you and your friends/sister/mother/girlfriend/etc. are exceptions to these statements. I know. Please stop telling me.

What do we want? Submissions! When do we want them? Now! Please submit! http://imgladimnotfemaletumblr.com/ask

*I KNOW that you and your friends/sister/mother/girlfriend/etc. are exceptions to these statements. I know. Please stop telling me.

Please submit! http://imgladimnotfemaletumblr.com/ask

*I KNOW that you and your friends/sister/mother/girlfriend/etc. are exceptions to these statements. I know. Please stop telling me.

I’m NOT drowning in submissions. Please submit! http://imgladimnotfemaletumblr.com/ask

*I KNOW that you and your friends/sister/mother/girlfriend/etc. are exceptions to these statements. I know. Please stop telling me.

I can’t go on without you! Please submit! http://imgladimnotfemaletumblr.com/ask

Notice that my tags do NOT mention “hot” or “bangin” or any of the other baser synonyms for “attractive.” Gentlemen have not died out, ladies. You simply have to look higher than his wallet, deeper than his body, and beyond his respect for your decisions.

(via dustbymonday)